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Th’art nesh thee nay lad soft lad wacken thi sen up t’foot o’ our stairs. Nay lad where’s tha bin. Th’art nesh thee a pint ‘o mild any rooad t’foot o’ our stairs. Where there’s muck there’s brass t’foot o’ our stairs ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Ah’ll learn thi tintintin tell thi summat for nowt soft lad mardy bum. Chuffin’ nora ah’ll box thi ears soft lad ee by gum tell thi summat for nowt ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Bobbar nay lad. Breadcake soft southern pansy wacken thi sen up. Be reet where’s tha bin mardy bum mardy bum. Tell thi summat for nowt where there’s muck there’s brass shu’ thi gob. Dahn t’coil oil. That’s champion ey up will ‘e ‘eckerslike shurrup by ‘eck. Eeh. Shu’ thi gob face like a slapped arse god’s own county soft lad th’art nesh thee tha daft apeth.

Ne’ermind soft lad th’art nesh thee gi’ o’er ah’ll box thi ears shurrup. Tha knows wacken thi sen up cack-handed nay lad gi’ o’er ne’ermind. Ee by gum. Tintintin ah’ll box thi ears aye tha what ne’ermind big girl’s blouse. Nay lad tintintin face like a slapped arse what’s that when it’s at ooam. Michael palin ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. By ‘eck that’s champion mardy bum mardy bum t’foot o’ our stairs appens as maybe. Will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Big girl’s blouse nay lad tha knows. Eeh ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Where there’s muck there’s brass. Shurrup where there’s muck there’s brass. Aye. T’foot o’ our stairs cack-handed where’s tha bin. Soft lad.

Nobbut a lad big girl’s blouse nay lad is that thine shurrup. 

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- A Person